Response To Amazon

A response to a particular comment at The Stranger's Blog concerning Amazon's bone-headed decision to label all books with gay content or written by gay authors to be stripped of their sales rankings and removed from all content searches because they are "Adult" in nature. Never mind that Jackie Collins' Married Lovers is still out in the open.

And my response was to a post by the username Loveschild.

Re: “And in the worst of cases to introduce fragile minds into acceptance of homosexual (emphasis on the sexual part) behavior. There would be no other way of explaining to a kid why 'heather' would have two mommies when they and their friends have a mommy and a daddy.”

And I call bullshit on you, Loveschild. This policy isn't about "protecting fragile minds." Please. I love how conservatives always hide behind "protecting children." This policy and others like it are for squeamish adults. Unless your kid has your credit card, they can't order the damn book anyway, and they can't even read more than 2 pages in their excerpts. So again. This isn't about protecting children; it's about promoting the feelings of ADULTS.

Adults who are too scared that their kids are gonna (gasp) ASK QUESTIONS. Isn't that what kids do? Ask questions? "How am I going to tell them that Heather has two mommies?" you ask. You're going to tell them that there are gay people in the world and some of them have families. Why, Loveschild? Because they *exist.* Whether or not you agree with homosexuality, whether or not you think it's sinful and an abomination, doesn't change the fact that there are gay people in this world. Just like there are people of different races, different cultures, and different religions (different religions, by the way, are also an abomination to the Christian Lord). You can tell your child that you believe it's wrong. You can even tell your child that all gay people are full of rainbows and candy. I don't really care cuz it’s your kid. But sheltering your child (and yourself, while we're at it) from reality does not change the reality.

As for your “emphasis on the sexual” part of your comment, ALL non-platonic relationships are sexual, not just homosexual ones, sweetie. I doubt our parents initially got together to play a weekly night of bridge and NEVER had any desire to see each other naked. With your own logic, you couldn’t explain to kids why Heather would have a mother and a father, because in order for poor old Heather to have appeared, the mother and the father would have had SEX.

Sorry, Loveschild. Use better logic next time.

The Sissy

Sorry for the long absence. I went on a spring break (the joys of being a student once again) and let me tell ya, spring break loses its luster when you're 25. I did not get drunk, run around naked, or do unmentionables with a hula hoop. Nor did I wake up with someone new every morning. And I had no desire to do any of those things. In fact, I spent almost my entire break with my parents and it was wonderful.

That said, onto the first post of this week:

Why does everyone hate sissies?

It's not just the straight world anymore. I have met more than one gay guy who claims to be "straight-acting" and isn't interested in "femmes." Go onto http://www.gay.com or http://www.connexion.org and count how many profiles state that they want a "real man" or someone who's "proud to be a man" and is only interested in those who "don't act gay." Go head, I'll wait.....

.........

.........back? Okay. A lot has been written on the blogosphere about the gay rights movement and how gays should be portrayed on television. Many gays get mad about such shows as "Will & Grace" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" because they showcased easy gay stereotypes. I'll grant you that point. However, those stereotypes are there for a reason.

Because they exist.

Some of us gay guys are whirling, twirling dervishes of fabulousness and proud of it, dammit. And it's those guys who take the most shit...from other gay guys. (I can't speak from experience but I'd imagine butch lesbians probably get more grief than, say, the bombshell femme. Of course, I could be wrong. Lesbians? Bi-sexuals? Any thoughts?)

Here we are fighting for social equality and we're already putting down ourselves? Seriously?

It's not too hard to figure out. We want to be accepted by straight culture and so there's more and more pressure to "act straight." We want our straight friends to say, "I have a gay friend but, you know, he's not *that* gay or anything." Admit it, guys, you want to be the "can't tell if he's gay" fag, don't ya?

Problem is, most of us aren't straight acting. Truth be told, most gay guys are in the middle when it comes to mannerisms and those are the guys that can't stand the flamers the most. They project their own insecurity onto some unsuspecting sissy who wants nothing more than to dance the night away with wrists a-flayed and hips a-cocked (no pun intended). And I say, "Good for the flamer!" It takes guts in this society to be flamingly gay. People will cast their eye upon them and know without a shadow of a doubt that he is GAY with a capital G.

And all the "in the middle" guys wouldn't be caught dead walking next to a flamer because they too could be labeled as gay by passer-by's. That's really what the anti-flamer crowd is afraid of. They're "out" but they want to pass through straight culture almost undetected. They long to be a Stealthy Gay, and anyone who could blow their cover (again, no pun intended) is not well liked.

We're all guilty of thinking this way. We're taught early that men under no circumstances should ever have feminine traits. Boys don't cry, etc. etc. And many of us gay guys are still holding out for essentially our father's approval, for our families not to be embarrassed of us. We, again, want the people of our lives to say, "Well he's gay but not *that* gay." This is a stupid reason for any kind of self hatred, especially self-hatred that is projected onto somebody else.

I don't mind effeminate guys. (In fact, I can be pretty effeminate myself.) And just admitting that the reason I had steered clear of flamers is because they bring to the forefront my own homophobia and fear has allowed me to be more comfortable with strangers, friends, and myself. Truth be told, like a good morning orgasm, we all need a little sparkles in our lives and there are plenty of out and proud flames that will bring a smile to your face.

And they should get your respect too. They're tougher than you or I because they take all the shit from the entire world.

Straight Sex Equals Unwanted Pregnancies; Therefore, It's Wrong And Nobody Should Choose To Be Straight

You know, I'm fine with straight people...as long as they're not open about it. No offense, but who wants to see a straight couple holding hands in the park? My kids could see that and ask me questions about it. What kind of world are we leaving in when I have to explain to my own kids that there are people who sleep with the opposite sex....sighs. It's just wrong.

Gay Bars in NashTrash

So I sat down, I ate dinner, I had one glass of wine (two beer queer here), and instead of finishing my apartment, I've decided to write the following post:

I only feel comfortable hitting on a guy in a gay bar. This is the south. Any gay vibe (and I have the worst gaydar there ever was) I get from a gay in a non-gay setting, say a Barnes and Noble, he could be closeted with a wife and 2.4 kids. I say hello, and he runs away screaming. Or you get someone who's so threatened by a simple hello, how are ya, that they punch your lights out.

So no, I don't hit on anyone outside of a gay context. But here's the rub: I don't like any of the guys that I've seen/met in our gay bars.

Our major gay bar is Tribe, a Manhattan style place. I actually like Tribe. There's a bartender there who gives me good drinks, usually at a discounted price, and I can sit on a couch, if it's not too crowded. Alcohol + couch = happy Chris. But here's what I've noticed people watching (and all I do is people watch when I'm at bars):

All the guys come in in cliques or pairs, usually with the same styled hair and jeans. They get their drink, they bop along to Rhianna, and they stare at others in the bar, but nobody talks to anyone outside of their clique. They all just.....stare, as if marking their prey. Then they all go next door to the dance club called Play, and that's apparently where all the hookups/phone numbers are exchanged...on the loud dance floor or in the bathroom stall.

And that.....really isn't for me. But there really isn't another place for single gay men to go in Nashville. I joined a gay runner's group...they're all in their 50's. I figured the gay reading group would be the same, plus sucky gay coming out fiction. (Honestly, does any gay fiction get passed coming out in high school/college and explore other aspects of life and story and plot?)

It feels like every gay guy who came out got a hand book describing what I like to call "The Homo Telepathic Broadband System." It seems that at these bars, there's communication going on, but just like Morse Code, I don't know how to read it. I certainly don't know how to use it to my advantage. So inevitably, I feel like a dunce because everyone seems to be in on the gag, but me. So I drink my drink, I bob my head to some song I can't stand, and then I leave.

So where does someone like me, someone who isn't comfortable yelling his mini life story over insanely loud music, someone who doesn't use the dance floor to seduce and arouse, someone who doesn't like sleazy bathroom stall hand jobs with strangers....

......where does someone like that meet somebody in this town?